The way we shared a bed was a metaphor for our relationship...the evolution from beginning to end.

Our connection was fast...then came the first conflict

He wanted to change me, for my "own good"

I was fighting to be myself, fighting to maintain my own sense of self, defending and justifying my decisions that were not his to make. (relationship specifics in second half of article)

I knew it was over

I'm stronger than I think. (relationship story in second part of article)

I wrote this, the morning after our final goodbye, that chilly day in March.

Break ups are hard when the person is still in my mind and heart

I realized that sometimes, trying too hard to find understanding can be a betrayal of my own boundaries and self.

He'd heard my "no" and decided that he knew better. It became a consent issue for me,

He would regularly bring in the Invisible Army to help support him

He claimed my pleasure as his accomplishment

Early on in the relationship, he'd been trauma-seeking, asking me to reveal "all" of my traumas, so that he could "look after" me and not hurt me. He didn't like when I said "no" and kept pushing until I gave a long, explanation that he could accept.

Joy and gratitude help in healing